


Is This How You Feel

by dance_tilyouredead



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Costumes, F/F, First Date, Nicole is dressed up like a guy, Wayhaught - Freeform, an extremely attractive butch lesbian kind of guy but you get the idea?, has taken my soul, hopeless gay Nicole Haught, you can probably see Waverly's bisexual aura from space
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 09:00:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7041685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dance_tilyouredead/pseuds/dance_tilyouredead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nicole’s smile goes crooked and she shuffles back until she’s standing more in the light, glances down at her clothes, to the big black hat she's twirling nervously in both hands. Waverly realises as she takes a closer look at her in the light. Nicole did wear a costume. She still looks a little like Officer Nicole Haught, but not quite.</p><p>Nicole clears her throat. "Ma'am. I’ve been ah, meanin to introduce myself." </p><p>or.<br/>Despite all odds, Waverly makes it to her next birthday and she insists that Nicole surprise her with her costume. And it's a great surprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is This How You Feel

**Author's Note:**

> Title is the song Is This How You Feel by The Preatures

Waverly insists on taking Nicole on their first date. “Just cause you wear the pants more than I do, doesn’t mean you get to tell me where I’m goin’.”

Nicole just smiled, “Did I mention you’ve dated too many shitheads?” She got a light smack on the arm for that statement, but she stands by it, and she thinks Waverly knows she’s right. All things considered, Nicole is kinda glad she doesn’t have to find somewhere to go on their first date – wouldn’t know where to go. She can’t say she hadn’t been looking for a good place(she’s been fantasising about asking Waverly out for months after all), but she hasn’t heard about anything that wasn’t drinks at Shorty’s or a long drive into the city.

Turns out, Waverly’s got them covered.

“Wowee,” Nicole whistles long and low at the view of the salt lakes, the mountains out past the cracked white plane and the colour varied sky hanging above it all. They’re alone, sheltering under a rock overhang on a wind blasted hilltop.

“You like?” Waverly sounds almost shy.

It takes a moment for Nicole to tear her eyes away from the sky as it continues to change colours with the setting sun. Once she does, there’s little else she can do but stare at Waverly who is looking down at her own boots, hands firmly in her pockets. Nicole has to hold back the iritation of knowing that Waverly’s boyfriends have all definitely been shitheads, because Waverly is amazing and perfect and has clearly not been told that enough.

“I love it.” She keeps smiling until Waverly looks at her. “Everything’s perfect. Magical even.”

They huddle together watching the sunset and swapping a flask of whiskey tea between them until it’s too cold to feel their faces and they huddle together in Waverly’s beat up truck to watch the stars fill the sky.

  
“First kiss?” Waverly is three questions deep into twenty questions. She already knows about Nicole’s cat(Snuffles), and her favorite colour(green). Nicole knows about Waverly’s first pet(Barry the snake) and her favorite colour(gold).

Nicole doesn’t have to think about her answer. “Mary-Ellen Pittman in second grade.”

“Naw, was she cute?”

“Cutest. Broke my little heart when she went walkin with Jason Einhold the very next day.”

“That bitch.”

“Nah, can’t hold it against her. What about you? Same question?”

Waverly grimaces making Nicole laugh. “Fourteen. Champ was keen on those old westerns where they just kind of smooshed their mouths together so the censors wouldn’t get all riled up.”

Nicole laughs. “Yeah, sounds familiar.” She grew up in a town not that different from Purgatory.

Waverly looks at her with the sweetest expression, leaning forward just a little. Nicole can see she wants to kiss her, but after that first wild afternoon, Waverly seems to have lost some of her nerve again. She remembers with heartbreaking clarity that she scares Waverly. Nicole can understand that. She understands how terrifying it can be figuring things out for the first time, but she won’t be shy with her affections either. If she’s honest, she’d have to admit she doesn’t know how to be shy about what she wants. She leans in and presses a gentle kiss to Waverly’s lips. It’s short, sweet and brings a blush to Waverly’s cheeks.

Waverly lets out a long gust of air that sends a thrill of pride down Nicole’s spine as she leans back, shaking her head and searching for another question. “Okay… Any siblings?”

Nicole nods, grimacing at the thought of her brothers. “Pete and Jessie. Both younger.

“You don’t get along?”

“They’re alright,” she says taking a longer draft of Waverly’s spiked tea. “It’s just they still don’t wanna admit that I’m…” She gestures between them to explain.

It takes a moment for Waverly to connect the dots, but when she does she sets her palm on Nicole’s knee. “A unicorn?” She says it so seriously that Nicole nods for a few seconds before registering what she said and laughing.

“Teasing me again?”

“Only a little. And last time doesn’t count.” Waverly is still close, smiling shyly as her hand moves warm and firm up to Nicole’s thigh.

“Favorite school teacher?”

  
In sixteen questions Nicole kisses Waverly twice more. The third kiss, Waverly starts then escalates, pulling Nicole bodily toward her and taking full advantage of the bench seat of her truck until they’re lying together just like that first time. The windows fog up quickly and they shuffle and squeeze around each other to strip off coats and scarves. Waverly’s hair is flat in some place and tangled in others from her lost beanie, and Nicole thinks she’s beautiful.

She tells her so and Waverly blushes with a delighted smile.

//

  
“Okay Snuff, I’m serious. Is this too much?” Nicole turns to face her cat, honestly looking for an opinion. Unfortunately, snuffles is not the most forthcoming, rolling over onto her back and meowing. “Oh no missy, I know that trick. No belly rubs.”

Nicole tugs at her own belt again. It’s a habit she hates but can’t seem to break. Something about the uniform, high pants and a chunky belt that makes her want to waltz around town like an old school law man. She knows she was doing exactly this during that excruciating crossed wires conversation with Waverly all those weeks ago.

God, weeks. How has she let everything hang between them for so long? Oh right, monsters mayhem and the town almost being swallowed into hell. Sure, they’d had a couple dates and a few kisses. Nothing quite as intense as that too short afternoon make-out session though.

Nicole loses track of straightening her tie, smile loose on her lips as she remembers Waverly blowing into the station like a dust devil, leaping into her arms and kissing her senseless. That speech, those earnest eyes and the sweetest lips Nicole has ever tasted were all too much to bear. If Nicole even managed any sense of charm or character, she can’t be sure.

It all ended too soon with the first local ringing the counter bell and no other officer around to take Mrs Akin’s report about a break-in to her granny flat(She wouldn’t be told that her cats probably just knocked over that vase, she insisted on a full report). Waverly had snuck out, looking guilty as sin straightening her scarf on her way out the door. She gave a tiny wave and a sweet smile at the door, leaving Nicole breathless all over again.

Now it’s Waverly’s birthday. She’d begged Nicole to come(as if she could say no).

“Of course Waves. I wouldn’t miss it.” They were waltzing along main street, ignoring the knowing looks of the few locals who’d figured them out. Not even noticing the idiot boys who couldn’t see past the noses on their faces to see just how smitten and involved both women were walking along together. Any wolf whistles sent their way summarily ignored, Waverly made Nicole promise.

“You swear?”

She was so cute, Nicole had held a hand over her own heart. “I solemnly swear, hell or highwater I will attend your birthday celebration, Waverly Earp.”

Waverly hopped a little on the spot, clapping her hands like the personified embodiment of sunshine she is. With Nicole grinning at her like a fool, is when Waverly chose to drop the addendum, of course. “Make sure your costume is good.”

Nicole had groaned, her knees dipping a little as she dragged her feet to properly outline her distress. “Wave. That’s really not my—”

“You promised.” Waverly was looking so smug.

Nicole is hopeless against that damn smile, but she still had to try. “You didn’t say anything about a costume.”

Waverly just kept looking at her with wide, sweet eyes and Nicole knew there was no backing out now. “Okay fine, what am I s’posed to wear them.”

“That’s the best part. You gotta surprise me.”

  
Now, ready to leave Nicole hopes this is the kind of surprise Waverly is happy with. Snuffles is still watching her impassively. “Maybe I should just wear the dress. That would count as a costume right? I haven’t warn it since aunt May’s funeral.”

Snuffles yawns, stretches then heads to the kitchen to sniff at her empty food bowl. Nicole follows pulls the cat food from her pantry, cracks the tin and scrapes the guts out with a spoon.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Nicole sighs. “That doesn’t count. What about a pirate? I could probably whip up something outa my house clothes…” She remembers the last revenant Wynonna had only managed to dispose of after he’d kidnapped Waverly and held her at knife point for the better part of a day. “No, you’re right. No need to remind her about the attempted… well, you know.”

Snuffles doesn’t know and she happily starts chewing down her can of tuna.

Nicole sighs again, returns to her bedroom and opens up her cupboard to check her reflection in the full length mirror one more time. She tugs at her tie, knowing it’s not getting any tighter. Her vest seems to fall nice and straight down her chest and over her hips and the pants aren’t that dissimilar to her uniform. Well, except for that one part of her costume. The one she’s most unsure of.

“Well Waverly wanted to be surprised.”

//

Waverly is anxious. She said she wanted a surprise, but now she’s not so sure. She had still been thinking that things would by like they were before. Back before Wynonna came home and people started talking to her different, before things started getting creepy again.

She cringes every time she thinks of the party that was meant to be for Steph’s engagement. So many reasons to cringe. She still has nightmares and doesn’t like to handle scissors anymore. Even with the horrors of that night she still feels an extra twinge of embarrassment that comes straight from her thirteen year old self; only two people came to her party. The shame knows no bounds, and no pep-talks from her mature adult self can give her any real perspective.

She tries to remind herself that things are yet again, different – now that they saved so many lives while keeping Purgatory from slipping into hell. They’re not facing the same town pariah status that they did before. Not to mention, even if no one else shows up, Nicole will be here. Beautiful, patient, breathtaking Nicole Haught will be there to hold her hand and kiss her cheek and treat her with every ounce of love and respect her Daddy always told Waverly she deserved.

Not that Nicole has said the ‘L’ word. Love is the unspoken thing that even leap-first Waverly is too shy to talk about out aloud. They’re keeping things calm. Relatively speaking – Waverly is still buzzing from their last date. She vibrates through most days now, just thinking about Nicole, kissing her, pulling her in by her lapel, her shoulders or her hair… Everytime they’re together, all she can think about is how amazing it would be if Nicole forgot they were in public, pushed her up against a wall and kissed her senseless.

Seriously, Waverly made herself pretty clear with her whole I want you speech. It kinda sucks that she used up all of her brazen in that one life changing conversation. It sucks that Nicole hasn’t since taken charge as Waverly has hoped she would. She knows it’s sweet that Nicole is being careful with her, is letting her set the pace. And she’s so so grateful to her, but dammit Waverly really wants to move past that and maybe… maybe she’d like to have sex. Specifically she would to move past the grinding and have sex with Nicole.

She can’t stop thinking about Nicole pulling her leg up around her waist, can’t stop remembering Nicole’s hips grinding down into her on that stupid lumpy couch in the station.And it seems that the only way that Waverly will get to experience that again is if she takes things into her own hands. She just needs to suck up the nervous fear that boils in her belly and just go for it.

She’s dressed herself in her best sexy halloween costume for the occasion. Her dress is stupidly short, the ears on her head the only indicator of her supposedly mouse costume. It’s silly, but who can fault a girl for wanting to feel sexy. Especially when her girlfriend drives her to distraction in a perfectly ordinary work uniform for goodness sake. The thoughts Waverly has just joining Nicole for lunch… Why yes Officer I think you should arrest me. I’ve been very bad.

Of course Waverly says no such thing aloud and if Nicole is aware of Waverly’s flushed cheeks she doesn’t say anything. There’s a knock at the door and Waverly feels that happy nervous lurch in her stomach as she opens the door expecting Nicole arrived early.

“Oh,” she says, bitter with disappointment. “Wynonna.”

“Oh. Waverly,” Wynonna parrots back her tone. “Lovely to see you too. Grab a corner will you.”

Waverly jumps then, realising that her sister needs some help as she lurches under a huge box of alcohol. “Jeeze, did you raid an illegal still or something?”

“Or something,” Wynonna laughs guiding them to balance the box on their rickety dining table. “I figure there’ll be a few folks comin down for a look-see if nothin else and hopefully plenty more comin to wish you your many happy returns.”

Waverly thinks about protesting their need for quite so much alcohol, then she thinks about how badly she wants to put the moves on Nicole tonight and she picks up a bottle of gin. “I guess there’s no harm in getting a start on the revelry.” She laughs nervously and Wynonna just pats her on the arm.

“Lime and soda’s already in the fridge Baby-Girl.”

“You gotta stop calling me that sometime.”

“Sure I do, but now is not that time.” Wynonna laughs some more as she disappears upstairs.

Waverly turns on the music as she hears the shower turn on and there’s a knock at the door. Another rush of excitement falls to disappointed as Champ, Andy and Clare all appear on the front step(construction worker, cowboy and vaguely offensive native american costume showing off everyone’s best assets). They barrel in without noticing her downturned expression and Waverly just shakes her head as they hug and kiss and wish her happy birthday all on route to the alcohol. It feels so normal, so much like before that Waverly has to shake her head at just how surreal normal feels to her these days.

Wynonna makes it back downstairs in her best fringed jacket with peacemaker at her side(just for decoration these days) to greet Doc and Dolls at the door and thank god cause Waverly is in no mood for their drama. She happily accepts the next drink Champ hands her, greets the next people who arrive and dives into all the noise and distraction that they bring. She smiles and laughs at the right places, hugs or waves at everyone as they come through her door. It feels normal, it feels fun, yet it still feels incomplete.

//

  
The music gets louder and the front door has remained closed for a while now. There’s a swarm of warm bodies in the living room, everyone talking and bopping to the music(no one’s drunk enough to dance properly yet). Waverly has a happy buzz going, but she’s not too drunk to forget who she really wants to be there, not too hazy to worry. She wants Nicole here, safe and dancing with her and maybe kissing her in the way that makes Waverly wanna drag her upstairs, is that so much to ask?

She starts to stress, not quite listening to anyone talk as she wonders if she’s done something wrong and she isn’t coming. What if she hasn’t made herself clear? What if Nicole thinks she’s not into her? Sure, Waverly has been a little hesitant, but that’s not for lack of wanting her. Waverly had never considered dating any woman before Nicole, but that doesn’t mean she’s not sure. A revelation can be still be a true revelation even if it comes later than it maybe ought to’v.

She already googled it. Sat down with her laptop in incognito mode and googled the hard questions. She even took a quiz she’s sure was meant for teenagers and passed that with flying colours. She doesn’t need to watch lesbian porn to know that she wants to give Nicole lots and lots of orgasms. But, waverly can’t help thinking, what if she hasn’t communicated that properly to the person that it truly matters to?

She’s spiralling into a panic and of course Wynonna notices. “She can’t be far off, Waves.”

“I know.” Waverly is chewing on her fingernail(not successfully since she’s been keeping her nails short for like two weeks now).

“She promised, right?”

Waverly nods.

“Haught-stuff’s basically a boyscout. She’ll be here.”

When Waverly still doesn’t answer, Wynonna grabs her sister’s hand and forces her to make eye contact. “That girl is head over heals, Waves.”

“But what if she doesn’t know I feel the same way? I might have given off a straight-girl vibe, and I mean, I told her I wanted to just be friends, then I took that back and we made out and it was absolutely amazing and the best kiss of my life, but what if I confused things in the last few week. I lost my brazen Waverly and I haven’t found any more brazen to give her and—”

“Stop.” Wynonna holds up a hand against her rambling. “She knows. Last month, they could see your crush on Officer Hotpants from three states over. Now, I’m pretty sure they could see your bisexual aura of horndog from the space station. On a cloudy day. In January.”

Waverly opens her mouth to argue when there’s a knock at the door. She rushes to the front of the house practically knocking Champ over in her rush to push him out of the way so that she’s the first one there. Her heart is beating in a rush like she’s run a mile and not across her living room. She knows it’s Nicole this time and when she wrenches the door open, she’s not disappointed.

“Nicole.” She sighs when her eyes meet golden ones crinkled at the edges. Nicole is here and damn if she isn’t exactly what Waverly needed. She scans her face, her smile and wind kissed cheeks, and can almost feel Nicole’s regard as a touch as she does just the same, drinking in Waverly’s sinfully short skirt and the silly little mouse ears in her hair.

“Beautiful.” Nicole breathes out the word reminding Waverly to look away from Nicole’s face to see the rest of her. Waverly frowns.

“You didn’t wear a costume.” Waverly says, letting her disappointment be heard in her voice. She turns, grabs a blanket from inside and steps out so she can close the door and properly chastise her girlfriends for breaking a promise and basically wearing her uniform.

Nicole’s smile goes crooked and she shuffles back until she’s standing more in the light, glances down at her clothes, to the big black hat she’s twirling nervously in both hands. She clears her throat and pulls back her shoulders as she meets Waverly’s gaze again. Waverly realises as she takes a closer look at Nicole in the light shining out from the living room window. Nicole did wear a costume. She still looks a little like Officer Nicole Haught, but not quite.

Nicole clears her throat. "Ma'am. I’ve been ah, meanin to introduce myself." Her voice isn’t deeper, but a little gruffer, her stance wider set and all her curves pressed and covered. She’s gorgeous in a white shirt, red vest, black tie, pants and a long black trench coat. Nicole pulls her shoulders back again with her hat against her chest(bound flat under her clothes).

Nicole laughs nervously. She isn’t sure how to handle this reaction from Waverly. However she thought Waverly might take her costume, this isn’t it. She tries to barrel through, grinning broadly and continuing in the voice she practiced the whole car ride over. “I’m Nic Haught.”

Waverly looks confused and to Nicole’s horror, hurt. “You mighta just stepped right outa the OK Corral if you only had a big ol’ moustache on.” Waverly swallows, eyes shimmering. “Are you… is this…?” She can’t seem to articulate her question.

“Waverly, why are you looking at me like that?”

“Do you think I’ve changed my mind? That I want to just go get with some guy or go back to Champ—”

“Oh,” Nicole gasps her understanding, interrupting with, “Oh, no no, please Waves, I didn’t—” she can’t help but huff a laugh despite Waverly’s serious expression, slipping out of her well practiced Nic voice. “No, Baby I don’t think you want…” She pulls Waverly’s hands out from where they’re crossed against her chest. “I believe in us. I do.”

Those must be exactly the right words to say as Waverly’s expression softens. It takes a few more seconds before she says anything. “Baby?” She asks finally.

Nicole looks down shyly. “Yeah, I mighta been saying that in my head a lot lately.”

“Really?”

Nicole feels her face getting flushed. She wasn’t really aiming for this kind of conversation, she hasn’t even had a drink yet. “I don’t think you’re scared of bein with me.” She gestures at her clothes with a wide sweep of her hat. “I was going for a Jessie James thing on account of your loving history.” She smirks a little meeting Waverly’s eye again. “And I knew how much you like my uniform.” She grins her cheeky grin to let her know she’s teasing.

Waverly blushes prettily and it isn’t a mean streak that has Nicole wishing to see her face so rosy more often. There’s a touch of humour in Waverly’s voice when she admits, “Yeah, I can’t say you’re wrong about that.”

Nicole nods, her smile growing again. “And was I wrong to think you’d appreciate the old timey costume.”

“A bit of a gamble after all them revenants, but no, I love it.”

“And ah…” Nicole hesitates, coughs nervously then lowers her voice to ask, “And all the rest, Ma’am?” She brushes back the edge of her coat in the over the top gesture she’s seen Doc Holliday make, showing off the antique pistol and classic leather shoulder holster. The whole costume that took her so long to get perfect for Waverly’s birthday.

Waverly affects a Scarlett O’Hara gasp and holds one hand against her chest. “Well I never, Mr…” she breaks character to ask. “Do I need to call you Nic?”

Nicole grins. “Miss Waverly, you can call me anythin’ you want.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I just really had to get this out of my system guys. Come flail with me on tumblr, dancetyd.


End file.
